Say A Prayer, Morri and Open!

[Morrigan]

"Family meant something different back...then," Morrigan replied, moving her gaze to the girl. "You learn to make your own family."

The young vampire was asking refreshing, but difficult questions. Most new vamps just wanted to not actually drink blood or go out during the day. Of course, this one's introduction to the vampire world wasn't normal or secure.

Morrigan sighed. "Well, honestly," she started. Should she lie? There was really no reason for her to lie, was there? After awhile, lying for vampires takes on a whole new tune.

"It took me a very long time, but it's not the same for everyone," she answers, "Some adjust very quickly." She paused. "It's really your choice. You can let what they did to you ruin your...life...or become stronger."

[Silver Wolf19]

That wasn't really an answer, wasn't really what she wanted to know...

But she wasn't going to point that out. "I miss my mum... She probably thinks I'm dead..." Ama murmured. "And gram too... They're probably sad... But I know I can't see them. I should be... Nineteen, they'll know something's wrong. I wouldn't hurt them, not really... But it would hurt them to see me alive, I think..." She whispered.

Looking up Ama blinked slightly at the woman.

"Ruin? Well... It's not all bad. I like having friends again. Better than being alone in that cave." She gave a shrug. "But I just wish that they'd never gotten to me. I was happy with everything that was going on ya know?" She looked away again. "I mean, weren't you happy before you were turned? I wanted to have a family, wanted to be a mom and grow up and everything." She sighed, curling up and putting her head on her arms. "We can't have kids I mean, and I really kinda wanted that. Well not when I was that young, but maybe what would have been like a year from now if I was still human."

Ama shook her head and pushed herself up to a sitting position. "Sorry..." She murmured, pulling her knees up to her chest. "It... It hasn't ruined me, but I just kinda wished they had let me kill myself."

[Morrigan]

Morrigan had been an outcast, in her day. Mortals lived and thought and grew very differently back then...

But, then again, she was not normal. She had some dreams, yes, dreams to survive. To grow up and make a family? She never thought that far.

Morrigan chuckled, short and quiet, suddenly remembering the other person was in a more sober mood. The ancient, thinking back, was much more one-tracked than she had hoped.

"I understand," she told the other, "perhaps, you could still live somewhat like a mortal? You didn't die for a reason."

Listening to her own words sounded so alien. Speaking as if she, after a few thousand years, could understand the divine forces that move our lives.

"I didn't really miss my family, because I didn't have one," Morrigan mused, turning to sit on the ledge. "Have you thought about contacting them?"

[Silver Wolf19]

"Contacting them? I can't... They... They all think I'm dead. And... Well, too much time has gone by. If I hadn't been with them so long, if I could have escaped when I tried I could have." She said bitterly. She'd wanted to go home, wanted to surprise her family with the joy that she was still alive! But how could she now? When three or more years had gone by? She shouldn't look like a girl still, she should be a young woman now.

Her heart ached like she wanted to cry, but that was a sign of weakness. One she wasn't willing to show. "You don't know how much I miss them... And I never even said bye or anything."

It took her a moment, but she composed herself and looked back up at the woman. "I don't know... If I really want to pretend to be human. Part of me wants to hold on, part of me wants to just forget about it... I... I know forgetting about being human would hurt me less. It would help the pain. But I... I sometimes like remembering everything." She knew it sounded stupid, but that was what she thought.

She wanted to ask the woman if it really was better to forget, but she wasn't sure if the woman would even remember what that was like. 

"Sometimes I think it would be easy to get lost in the blood... Just kill until the blood is all that matters. You know?" she gave a grim smile.  

[Morrigan]

"Now, you know how vampires have seperated themselves," Morrigan told the vampiress, "Someone choose to never let go, some leave behind everything, and others live in the blood - through violence or lust." She paused, remembering some of the interesting vampires she had met. "It's entirely up to you. I can give feed back, but in the end it's your choice - which you know."

Morrigan subconsciencely reached for something around her neck. She fingered the thin chain; her eyes glazed over for a moment. "Remember, though, becoming vampire means your past life is over. You can never really go back. It's just a matter of moving forward."

From under her shirt, she pulled out a charm on a very long chain. She held the small amulet in the palm of a pale hand. A lumpy rock of amber hooked to the chain by a crude wire. "This is the last thing I have from my family. My mother gave me this," she told Ama, showing her the rock.

[Silver Wolf19]

"If I were to forget... Just forget everything about my family at least, and what happened before they killed my coven... I think if I just woke up as a vampire, never knowing I had ever been human, I would be happier that way. If I never knew I was human, if I never knew that anything but this life existed and I can be myself the way I am now? I would be fine..."

The words made her think, made Ama think about what could actually be done.

Vampires had all sorts of powers! So many of the older ones, like this woman here, had powers that she could hardly dream of!

Maybe...

"It's pretty... I don't have anything from mine... They took everything when they kidnapped me. But.... Morrigan... Can.... Can you make me forget? Can you make me forget everything until... Until even just now? Just make me forget everything?" She asked hopefully, a light in her dark eyes for once.