Here you go., A story, read it if you want.

I've been posting this in a lot of places, my Myspace and WorldofWarcraft guild site are two examples. This place here is in the crapper right now but it still has some of it's best members in it... all five of you. At any rate, those five of you were some of my more favorite people, so while I don't really expect anyone to read this, I'm going to go ahead and put it here for the one of you that decides to.

Enjoy...



Chapter 1: Why am I here?


Why was I here? I looked around in a stupor, it seemed almost as if time had stopped. I turned my gaze to focus on Karin, down on one knee, she was looking straight forward with her teethed clenched tightly. Shifting my eyes over toward the Ruby Dragon, I examined it in mid lunge... a sight that would astonish many people I was sure. After only a brief moment however I turned to look back at Karin, she had her eyes turned away from our foe, she was hardly bracing herself for the attack.

"Why am I fighting?" I asked aloud to myself.

My vision trailed to the bloodstained ground. What was happening? Why was I here? The shine of my family sword, the Crysalis, caught my attention. Staring at myself in the blade of the weapon, I longed to be back with the ones I loved, especially now, here in this moment I was sure to die. The sword in my hand turned ever so slightly, revealing another face... a face I had seen before in a flash, just as I had now. I looked up and found the answer to my questions staring right at me.

It was him. He was not hiding in the shadows, but for some reason he seemed difficult to detect. Yet there he was with his trademark glare, piercing my soul with a gaze that seemed to create the very definition of evil. His hair was gray and messy, his clothes and headband were torn and tattered, his face was wrinkled and twisted into a permanant scowl. That old man was the reason I was here, it was because of him I fought. It was all his fault.

He stood tall and strong despite the appearance of his age, one arm crooked against his waist, the other clenching his sword turned backwards, the tip pointed to the ground. The very moment I focused on his weapon I felt as if I would be sick. Even though there was a good distance between us, I was attacked by the stench of death. The broad blade of his sword was completely soaked with blood, one would say it was dripping wet with it, but I knew no drop of blood would ever fall from the edge of that sword for as long as that man wielded it.

"That man..." I muttered under my breath.

"That man." I said louder, feeling the rage surface, my consiousness slipping away as the anger consumed my thoughts and my body.

"YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs!

I tightened my grip on my family heirloom and prepared to rush forward. That man is going to die this day! I will charge into him like a hurricane and obliterate him and his putrid existence!

I drew my sword back, stood up straight, and drew back ready to charge in, only to find I could not step forward. I was losing control, I wanted to kill him so badly! Why could I not attack!?

"You're scared, aren't you?" A familiar voice said softly to me.

Chapter 2: Why I was here.



The voice forced a hesitation in my thoughts. Was I really scared under all of that anger?

"Mathias, do not forget why you are here." It stated calmly.

I was confused, wondering what it meant.

"Why am I here?" I asked myself.

Time had stopped it seemed.

"I can't even begin to imagine what kind of people would live like this," Karin commented as we wandered from room to room in the underground ruins our enemies had fled to. "It doesn't make since, all of the plantlife is dead and rotted. There's no signs that anything has lived here in a long time, but something is still powering these doors."

As much as I hated to waste my time wondering about it, the state of things were interesting. Everything we had seen up to this point was long dead, but the energy that powered the lights and doorways could only come from something living. Was there a living being down here that was producing the energy needed for these lost ruins?

"Does it really matter?" I responded half-heartedly. "We did not come here to marvel in the exploits of a dead civilization."

This was indeed a fact, we were only here following Zinowa, after having fought him near the entrance of this place. It really didn't matter what it used to be, all that mattered was that it could be his base of operations. Apparently stating such an obvious fact annoyed her, as Karin replied with nothing more than a frustrated sigh.

We continued through, not stopping to observe what we passed and taking every left at every fork we came upon so we would not get lost. Blaine had already chosen to split up and cover more ground with Alyssa despite the indicent earlier. In our struggle against Zinowa and his Saphire Dragon, Zinowa wielded a special kind of sword that he used to somehow drain all the dark energy from Blaine, leaving him unable to even stand on his feet. Jarrod and his friends fought alongside Karin, Alyssa and I against Zinowa and his Saphire Dragon, but they both proved to be quite powerful and we were facing a possible defeat. Fortunately though, Blaine finally gained enough strength to take up his weapon and join us in the end, which was just enough to prevail. Though we slayed the Shaphire Dragon with our combined strength, Zinowa escaped on one of the local dragons he kept tamed in the area. It was in the mountains he fled into that we found these ominouse ruins.

"There's no telling what kind of traps are in this place." I recalled Blaine saying as I found myself bothered by the arguement we had after entering Zinowa's hideout and discovering the complexity of it's design.

"Zinowa more than likely planned to lead us here." Alyssa agreed. "He could be anywhere deep within these hallways, he probably expects us to die just trying to get to him."

It was after only a short walk inside we entered a large room with a dome shaped ceiling, tables and chairs scattered about. If I had to guess I would've believed myself to be in the remains of an old restraunt. Still though, we found multiple paths leading in all directions.

"We should not waste time deciding which path to take." I stated, pointing to the far left door.

"Very wise choice," Blaine said sarcastically while backing up toward the far right door. "Then if you don't mind I'll go this way, in the exact oppisite direction."

Karin cocked an eyebrow at him, "What're you doing?"

He grinned at her question without breaking pace. "Isn't it obvious? Let's split up gang!"

Alyssa looked to each of us and began to move toward him. I however was baffled by such a ridiculous idea. After the battle outside, Jarrod decided not to pursue Zinowa with us after he fled into the mountains that we found these ruins in. So this choice was going to leave us in two groups of two.

"You haven't recovered all of your powers yet and you've done quite well to prove your uselessness without them up to now, you do realize you'll likely die alone right?"

He glared at me for only a moment, showing the slightest bit of anger and nothing more before laughing. "Heh, the only people likely to die in here are people like you. Don't underestimate what Alyssa and I can do as a team." He closed his eyes with a smirk on his face and turned to continue toward the door he chose. "Not like someone like you would know anything about teamwork anyways, you can't even count to two!" He called back to me just before bumping right into the door, obviously with his eyes still closed. He then stopped and stared dumbly at what had proven to be an obstacle for him. "So... how the heck do we open this thing?"

I found myself grinning at the thought of Blaine's failed attempt to walk through walls and ironically bumped into Karin. She glared back at me for only a brief moment but decided not to comment as I greeted her with the most plain of looks. We had stopped at a suspicous doorway of our own. She ran her hand along the wall and pressed a panel of some sort, fortunately it served no purpose other than to notify whatever living being was here to open the door, which rose into the ceiling. We walked in to find the same thing we found in every single room we had been in up to this point save for one difference. There was nothing but a large red column placed exactly in the center of another large blank pointless room with another meaningless tall dome ceiling.

"Looks like something here doesn't belong." She said, almost to herself.

I looked over to her to examine her posture, despite the heavy dark purple armor covering her arms and entire upper torso and her spear sheithed on her back, she stood completely straight and alert, both her hands on her waist. Her face was turned away from me to examine the column, showing only her short pink hair. She didn't seem bother our scared by what we had come across in the least.

"Another strong observation I see." I muttered, looking to inspect the crown of my sword just in time to ignore a cold stare. I then looked up as I heard the footsteps of her closing in on the object ahead, and finally turned to look behind me after hearing the sound of the door closing behind us.

"It seems we've entered one of those famous traps Karin." I said loudly for her to hear.

Instead of another annoyed response from her however, I heard laughter. Laughter from a male voice. I quickly turned back as Karin drew her spear from her back, stepping away from our ruby colored column, which had begun cumbling and chipping away, revealing something shaped like a dragon

Yeah.....should i cry now?

Hello Mathias!

I got to reading it. I hope you aren't angry at me for not replying sooner.

So I see you've decided to write an original fic of some sort. Here we have the boy with an heirloom sword, fighting a dragon with his comrades and his special girl.

I don't understand anything Mathias. What is this supposed to be? It isn't bad, but it needs description and... well, I don't know what it is.

I'm sure you'd love to see that.

Sounds like you're begging for a twenty percent warning.

well suicine, you arent suppose to know anything about it obviously, this isnt the beginning of anything, its the middle, so obviously youre going to be clueless from the start

however, i do plan to explain everything to satisfaction as i write...and of course if youre so interested ill be happy to explain things and answer questions to at least some extent

and be careful with assumptions, its fun to guess but i really just cant see where you got the "special girl" thing from lol... point out where i made that apparent because it wasnt my intentions to make it seem that way

but at any rate, thanks for the interest guys

If it's chapter 1, then it's the beginning-- unless it's a scene of the future. You ought to be clearer on that.

If you can elaborate, then I'll be happy to be a regular reader.

okay, you got me there, while this is a section of a bigger thing i did call it chapter 1, and thats a very strong observation to make

do you think i should rename it part one and part 2 perhaps to help avoid having that misunderstanding again?

i kind of wanted to introduce certain characters and themes before i introduced the actual story as a whole which is why im writing it in this fashion, do you think i shouldve done it diferently?

(and by the way, i have another fanfic thread on this forum, go check it out as you may find that its related to this on in the sense of a backstory)

That might work depending where it actually is in the whole story. Seems like it is good, but I'm confused too.

Do you mean that you're trying to start the story at the middle, then later you will begin in the beginning, as though a flashback? If so, that's just fine.

But it's still very rough, because when you do that it needs to draw the reader in, and not just "begin".

If this is some sort of preface, prologue, intro, or something like that, I don't suggest seperating it into parts-- just make it one, big thing.

Another problem I've got is lack of description of the setting. I have no idea where anyone is, but I do know roughly what they look like. I do know they have swords and armor, but the imagery of where they're fighting is just a blur.

Sorry,Sorry,its actually my one not yours!Heh,heh.......god Im such a moron.

Well something that has to be understood is that what you're reading is through the eyes of the main character. Everything described is in the first person perspective and he has a tendency to focus on some things and miss others. Even so, I still tried to have him describe his enviroment to satisfaction so I'm going to look back into it and see what I may have missed and apply those things to my more recent writings.
Which is why I'm doing this in sections, I still have a lot to learn so and all of this im releasing has been revised at least once anyways, so I'm going to give bit by bit to learn more about what needs to be changed so that the story can get better and better as it's read. I don't want to release it all at once with problems all up and down it's structure. Also, What you've read so far is about 1/12 of the entire thing....so it's not going to be very easy to read nor to write all at one time.

But I'm not really trying to "start" the story here, theres a lot to show in regards to timelines and characters, I'm just releasing it at this part because I think I can use this section of the story to introduce the elements of the world, the chatacters, and the general plot of things by the time I finish with the entire section. It's not a prologue and its not a start, its just a peek at things and an introduction of sorts. After I finished this part I planned on writing this section of the timeline over again from the aspect of Blaine, as he does, sees, and reacts to things in a very different way. He also has a lot of important dramatic issues at this same time as well, so I'me sure to he'll peak the reader's interests with his personality, dilemmas, and observations.

This post has been edited by Mathias on Sep 24 2007, 02:20 PM

That may be so. Well, it is. But you should also know that as someone who is telling the story, he/she must be aware that he/she is writing to an audience.

Eh, you just need time... I'm criticizing you a bit much. Sorry.

i appreciate the intrest, and im happy to let you know youll be able to poop on chapter/section/whatever 3 very soon, ive finished the revised version and all i have left to do now is check it over for typos, sentence errors and other gramar problems and it will be ready to release
ive taken a bit of what you said into consideration and applied it ever so slightly as well, i hope you enjoy it and find it well improved over the other two

and speaking of which, its about twice as long as the first 2 chapters combined, so be ready to sit down and read for a good few minutes, ill release it either tommorow night or the night after at the latest, and of course ill be here answering questions and talking about it meanwhile

Mathias I just finished reading the story,I agree with Suicine it makes no sense,but its a nice....calming story,hope everyone read it.